September 14, 2010 6:58pm.
I just walked in from my run- literally still have sweat dripping down my face and fingers all sticky and shaky from my adrenaline pumping, but I couldn't wait to sit down and start typing the picture the Lord was just showing me on my run. So, today's run- what I thought-a not too hard 2 miles began amazingly..I was so so ready to run tonight and couldn't wait to put on my new music (thank you Melissa Milroy) and let my feet hit the pavement. My adrenaline was going as my legs raced with the song "For Love of You" by Audrey Assad (my new favorite artist) I was smiling and was like this is going to be so good, my pace was even a little faster than normal. As I was running, the wind was coming so strong against me that at times it was making me sway as I ran..it was also literally pushing the ear buds out of my ears…as I kept running I was thinking "Oh Jesus Im so thankful that I have this wind against me now on the first mile because that means when I turn around it will be pushing me along on the second half mile… that's just how you work Lord…even though trials and struggles face us..if we hold on and persevere you will bless our road and carry us along after we have learned through the trials…." Ha I remember thinking thanking Jesus for this reminder. As I neared my turning mark I could not WAIT to turn around, it was such a harder first half of my run than I expected- even though I was pumped up on adrenaline and what Jesus was showing me. However when I turned around…something unexpected happened… there was NO WIND PUSHING ME. All of a sudden it was HOT and DRY and the SUN was IN MY FACE. I was like… well.. Jesus.. how did this happen.. the wind was just going against me.. so now shouldn't it be pushing me along?? I felt like I was running through absolutely still air. I was like wow Jesus.. I thought the first half of my run was hard… needless to say at least I had WIND in my face to cool me off… to help me breathe. As I continued to literally pray outloud as I was running ( people probably thought I was nuts) because I was just zonked of all energy..the Lord began to show me some thing… how.. there are times when we are running along in life and we think that the struggle, trial, obstacle we are facing is SO bad, annoying, frustrating, and we are waiting for the blessing to come from persevering… however.. there may not be an IMMEDIATE blessing once we hit our turning spot, we may have to continue to HOPE and PRAY and RELY on JESUS. I realized that I should have been TAKING IN that air in my face… breathing in the air that I just assumed I would have on the way back… but oh how precious that trial and struggle is when we are facing it.. we need to take in every moment that we are faced with it because we have no idea what it is preparing us for… the very things we see as trials could be the very blessing the Lord is giving us… and when we reach that point of almost giving up… and then we reach our turn around point expecting a blessing… there may not always be one… as I looked back and wished I would have taken in that extra breath and enjoyed that wind in my face one last time…and just because we don't receive the blessing doesn't mean one is not waiting for us at the end of the race. Even though it was hard and I wanted to stop.. I kept thinking of the Lord and what He was teaching me through this run…I had "For Love of You" on repeat… and somehow He sustained my legs in the heat… and at the end of the run… I am not even joking I was almost blown over with the gust of wind that hit me when I stopped at my 2 mile mark. Not only was there wind but as my sprinting legs came to a halt the words from the song "Carry Me on Your Back" by Leeland. I wanted to fall to my knees because I realized another facet of His Love…I realized through the entire run He carried me on His back…He made my legs move, my lungs breath air in and out… and He is the One who is ALWAYS carrying us on His back even when the season is hot and dry and we feel we have no air to breathe, and even when we feel His presence yet are still facing many obstacles and He is still carrying us even when He doesn't move in the way we expect. He carries us and works and moves to make sure He gets the glory- so it ALL points to Him and not to ourselves. It is all about HIM. I feel I can keep talking about this short 19 minute run for forever because I keep realizing small things about the Lord, but I pray you are blessed and you only see Jesus. I just had to share because He is good. Love you… here is a link to the song "Carry Me on Your Back"…. Xoxo, Nicole
